Dreams, I believe, first appear in childhood when a child is first asked: ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ Answers can vary from things practically impossible, such as becoming superheroes to actual professions like a doctor or a railroad engineer. These are dreams as adulthood is seen to be so far away that the process of becoming an adult and having that profession is rather perceived as a wish. A wish that could be granted without any hard work or any sacrifices, instantly, like winning the lottery. As the child grows and understands that the goal it sat will require a lot of work not just in theory and begins to understand the procedure, the dream might become a mere desire.
As a child I practiced sports, athletics was my choice. My dream was to compete at the Summer Olympics. Naturally winning a gold medal would have been the biggest joy in the world, but the dream was only to make it to the Olympics, to be one of the best athletes of the world. I worked hard, but not hard enough and I gave up athletics in the 7th grade.
In the 8th grade I took up music. First it was the idea, than the will and than the actual work. It was my fathers’ idea to learn to play an instrument. I’ve been a big fan of music so I should learn to play it rather just listen to it. He mentioned the guitar, I gave it a little thought and opted for the drums. This is how I have enrolled to the school of arts for a two years course. From day one I knew what I was after, I wasn’t in it for mere passion nor just for a simple hobby, I wanted to play in a band.
It was never my dream to become a drummer but it is to be one. It was a desire to learn to play that instrument, to form a band, to write songs and to play them live. Gradually it all happened. After finishing the course and receiving my certificate I received my first drum kit, which I still use to this day. I formed a band with two of my friends, searched for further members and started working on our own material and cover songs. The band went through some tough times, line-up changes, long pauses and setbacks but it never split up. Although we were recognised as a decent band and have achieved some ‘success’, we never managed to take it to the next level, to break through. All of us have evolved as musicians and we all were invited to play in other bands as well but after ten years of drumming I could hardly say that I’m part of the underground. I’ve been in Guillotine since 2006 and in Paradigm from 2012. We recorded a demo with Guillotine in 2008 and an EP with Paradigm in 2014.
Being a musician has its advantages and disadvantages. Earning a crowd’s respect and love is priceless but unfortunately everything else has a price. To be a good musician and the whole band to play good requires a lot of practice. This means you might not always be able to manage your free time the way you’d desire and you are bound by the programme of your band mates; you have to invest a lot of money into your equipment, to buy and further develop it; and you have to play roles you wouldn’t like or have no experience of, being your own publicist, your own manager, technician, transporter and investor etc. Achieving such a dream requires living through a harsh reality. Members from internationally renowned bands have stated that it is sometimes surreal or like a dream that they are making a living by playing music they love and enjoy.
Being a good musician has two meanings, playing your instrument right and writing good music. On certain occasions, being a session musician for example, it is enough to be a good player. But if you want your band to make it big then you have to write good songs, otherwise your efforts were in vain. Times have changed since heavy metal was born, the risk and competition is higher and the interest is lower. Attitude is not all anymore, unfortunately you need a ‘backup plan’. If you cannot make a living out of playing music you ought to have a civil profession which sets you back on developing as a musician. On the other hand, this professional „constraint” is also vital in supporting your material needs, thus forming a vicious circle.
I started playing drums as a new interest and it became my passion. Although I’d be willing to make sacrifices, to be able to write and present my material, I might not be granted the chance to go on tours. Therefore I have to admit that the goal I’ve set might be unreachable. I’d like to think of it as acknowledging the truth rather than giving up. I am a simple civilian and I live a normal life, I cannot say that I’m living a dream or that I’m striving to achieve one, but there is always a small voice at the back of my head that keeps me hoping. That is why being a drummer is a desire, a dream and also a reality.